Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
worst night to have a conscience
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
