I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I will be naked everywhere
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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