He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
