mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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