I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
