so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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