Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just gift wrapped bread.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize