Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
