anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
