He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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