By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
