fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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