I think I just saw someone hide a body.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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