things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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