I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize