He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
