Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
