K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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