just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
