no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
