What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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