just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
