girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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