The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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