why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
sarcasm needs its own font
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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