if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
