Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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