Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I faked an abortion last night.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
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