I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
