Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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