It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Fuck appropriateness.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
