How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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