i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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