I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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