i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Randomize
