I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
