Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
