i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
