My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
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just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
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i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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