____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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