I'm drive I can fine osifer
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
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If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
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I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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