Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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