im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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