An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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