Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
