It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
