Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
