Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i came on her dog
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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