Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize