is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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