my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize