booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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