my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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