remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize