you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
