I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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