Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
