Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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