Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
