Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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