He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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