Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
