Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
