Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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