He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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